COMM 105 Message Revisions and Outlines Worksheet

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Assignment # 4: Message Revisions and Outlines
This assignment has three parts. Be sure to complete all of them for full points.
Grading rubrics are at the very end of each unit’s assignment description. Please look them
over since they clarify how each assignment is graded and how to maximize your points.
Part 1: Chapter Review
After reading chapter 3 , answer five questions on slide 4.
Part 2: Revising Paragraphs
Your Task. Revise the following paragraph. Add a topic sentence and improve the organization. Correct
problems with pronouns, parallelism, wordiness, and misplaced or dangling modifiers.
As you probably already know, this company (Lasertronics) will be installing new computer software
shortly. There will be a demonstration April 18, which is a Tuesday. You are invited. We felt this was
necessary because this new software is so different from our previous software. It will be from 9 to
12 a.m. in the morning. This will show employees how the software programs work. They will learn
about the operating system, and this should be helpful to nearly everyone. There will be information
about the new word processing program, which should be helpful to administrative assistants and
product managers. For all you people who work with payroll, there will be information about the new
database program. We can’t show everything the software will do at this one demo, but for these three
areas there will be some help at the Tuesday demo. Presenting the software, the demo will feature Paula
Roddy. She is the representative from Quantum Software.
Part 3: Preparing an Outline
Go to page 125 of your textbook and find activity 5.2 “Memo That Informs: Change in Insurance
Premiums”, follow the “Tips for Writing Outlines” in figure 3.2 on page 59 of your textbook and prepare
an outline of what should be included in the memo. NOTE: You do not need to write the MEMO –
we will do so in a later assignment.
NOTES
How to Submit: Please create this assignment in Word (.doc or .docx) and upload to Dropbox,which
you’ll find in the menu across the top under “Assessments.”
The file name on your document should include your name and the assignment number (for
example: John.Smith-A2.docx).
Remember: All assignments are to be submitted by midnight on the due date (noted on the
Schedule). These deadlines are not simply guidelines: late assignments will lose 50% per day unless
you have discussed an extension with me. You are welcome to turn in assignments early.
GRADING RUBRIC:
Description
Value
Part 1
Answered 5 of 9 chapter review questions (pg 69)
25
Part 2
Paragraph has been revised for better readability and impact
10
Part 3
Prepare the MEMO outline
10
Formatting
Mechanics
A standard font, size, and margins have been used on this
assignment. All information (the different parts) is
identified (labeled or numbered) and easy to read (line
spacing is included between chunks).
Spelling, grammar, word choice: ½ point deducted for each
error
Total
5
5
55
Score
PowerPoint® Slides
to Accompany
Prepared by
Jennifer Powell,
Red River College
Guffey, Lowey, Almonte Essentials of Business Communication 10th Canadian Edition. © 2022 Cengage. All Rights
Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 3
Organizing and Drafting Your
Message
Objectives
❑ 3.1 Research to collect background information for
messages.
❑ 3.2 Organize information into strategic
relationships.
❑ 3.3 Compose a first draft using a variety of
sentence types.
❑ 3.4 Improve your message by using style
effectively.
❑ 3.5 Organize paragraphs effectively.
Researching Background Information
❑ What does the receiver need to know?
❑ What is the receiver to do?
❑ How is the receiver to do it?
❑ When must the receiver do it?
❑ What will happen if the receiver doesn’t do
it?
Informal Research Methods
❑ Search company’s files.
❑ Conduct informal survey.
❑ Background
❑ Questionnaires
information
❑ Brainstorm ideas.
❑ Talk with your manager.
❑ Perspective
❑ Interview target
audience.
❑ Shape remarks
❑ Small group benefits
❑ Do a quick Google
search.
❑ Use verified facts
Research Methods
❑ Access electronic
sources.
❑ Library, digital
catalogue
❑ Internet research
❑ Investigate primary
sources.
❑ Go to the source
❑ Conduct scientific
experiments.
❑ Controlled variables
Direct Organization for
Receptive Audiences
❑ Saves the reader’s time
❑ Easy and quick to read
❑ Sets a proper frame of mind
❑ Clear opening
❑ Reduces frustration
❑ Main idea first
Format for an Outline
Indirect Organization for
Unreceptive Audiences
❑ Respects the feelings of the audience
❑ Prepares receiver for message
❑ Facilitates a fair hearing
❑ Delays main idea
❑ Minimizes a negative reaction
❑ Delivers news gently
Audience Response Determines
Direct or Indirect Organization
Achieve Variety With
Four Sentence Types
❑ Simple sentence
❑ Contains one independent clause
❑ Compound sentence
❑ Contains two complete but related thoughts
Achieve Variety With
Four Sentence Types (cont’d)
❑ Complex sentence
❑ Contains an independent clause and a
dependent clause
❑ Compound-complex sentence
❑ Contains at least two independent clauses and
one dependent clause
Avoid Three Common
Sentence Faults
❑ Fragment
❑ Broken-off part of a complex sentence (often
begins with words such as although, as,
because, even)
Avoid Three Common
Sentence Faults (cont’d)
❑ Run-on sentence (fused)
❑ Two independent clauses run together without
punctuation (must use a coordinating
conjunction, a semicolon, or be separated into
two sentences)
❑ Comma splice
❑ Two independent clauses joined with a comma
Use Short Sentences Wisely
❑ Monotonous short sentences
❑ Sound unintelligent
❑ Bore or annoy the reader
❑ Balance longer sentences and shorter ones
Show Emphasis
❑ Emphasis through mechanics
❑ Underlining
❑ Italics and boldface
❑ Font changes
❑ All caps
Show Emphasis (cont’d)
❑ Emphasis through mechanics (cont’d)
❑ Dashes
❑ Lists
❑ Emoji
❑ Other (space, colour, lines, boxes, headings, etc.)
Show Emphasis (cont’d)
❑ Create emphasis through style.
❑ Use vivid, not general, words.
❑ Place the important idea first or last.
❑ Give the important idea the spotlight.
❑ De-emphasize when necessary.
❑ Use abstract, not specific, words and phrases.
Use the Active and
Passive Voice Effectively
❑ Active voice
❑ Subject performs the action.
❑ Passive voice
❑ Subject receives the action.
Use the Active and
Passive Voice Effectively (cont’d)
Active Voice
Passive Voice
Justin must submit a tax return.
The tax return was submitted [by
Justin].
Actor (Justin) → Action (must submit)
Receiver (the tax return) ← Action
(was submitted)
Integrate Parallelism
❑ Creates balanced writing
❑ Uses similar structure to express similar ideas
❑ Matches nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs,
and clauses with clauses
Replace Dangling and
Misplaced Modifiers
❑ Dangling modifiers
❑ Missing logical subjects
❑ Misplaced modifiers
❑ Modifier is not close enough to phrase to be
clear
Drafting Well-Organized,
Effective Paragraphs
❑ Craft a topic sentence.
❑ Single main idea
❑ Develop support sentences.
❑ Illustrate, explain, or strengthen topic sentence
Drafting Well-Organized,
Effective Paragraphs (cont’d)
❑ Build paragraph coherence.
❑ Link ideas
❑ Control paragraph length.
❑ Fewer lines (not sentences)
❑ Break into smaller segments
Transitional Expressions
to Build Coherence
Summary
❑ Research to collect background information for
messages.
❑ Organize information into strategic
relationships.
❑ Compose a first draft using a variety of
sentence types.
❑ Improve your message by using style
effectively.
❑ Organize paragraphs effectively.
PowerPoint® Slides
to Accompany
Prepared by
Jennifer Powell,
Red River College
Guffey, Lowey, Almonte Essentials of Business Communication 10th Canadian Edition. © 2022 Cengage. All Rights
Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.
Chapter 4
Revising Your Message
Objectives
❑ 4.1 Revise business messages for conciseness.
❑ 4.2 Improve clarity in business messages.
❑ 4.3 Enhance readability through effective
document design.
❑ 4.4 Proofread to find mistakes in routine and
complex documents.
❑ 4.5 Evaluate messages to judge overall
effectiveness.
Tighten Messages by
Revising for Conciseness
❑ Eliminate flabby expressions: due to the
fact, as a general rule.
❑ Limit long lead-ins: I am sending you this
email.
Tighten Messages by
Revising for Conciseness (cont’d)
❑ Drop unnecessary fillers: there is/are and it
is/was.
❑ Reject redundancies: absolutely essential.
❑ Delete empty words: case, degree, the fact
that, factor.
Write Concisely When Microblogging
and Posting on Social Media
❑ Use short messages.
❑ Include main ideas.
❑ Choose descriptive but short words.
❑ Personalize your message.
❑ Strive for conciseness, clarity, and correctness.
Making Your Message Clear
❑ Keep it short and simple.
❑ Dump stale business phrases.
❑ Drop clichés.
❑ Avoid slang and buzzwords.
Making Your Message Clear (cont’d)
❑ Rescue hidden verbs.
❑ Control exuberance.
❑ Choose clear, precise words.
Enhancing Readability Through
Document Design
❑ Use white space.
❑ Understand margins and text alignment.
❑ Choose appropriate fonts.
❑ Choose an appropriate font style.
❑ Number and bullet lists for quick
comprehension.
❑ Add headings for visual impact.
Fonts With Different Personalities for
Different Purposes
Proofreading to Find Errors
Check
❑ Spelling
❑ Grammar
❑ Punctuation
❑ Names, numbers, and facts
❑ Format
Why Proofread?
How to Proofread Documents
❑ Look for typos and misspellings.
❑ Search for easily confused words.
❑ Read for missing words and inconsistencies.
❑ For handwritten or printed messages, use
proofreading marks.
❑ For digital documents use Comment and Track
Changes functions.
How to Proofread
Complex Documents
❑ Print a copy and set aside for some time.
❑ Allow enough time to proofread carefully.
❑ Anticipate errors.
❑ Read the message at least twice.
How to Proofread
Complex Documents (cont’d)
❑ Reduce reading speed and concentrate on
individual words.
❑ Enlist a proofreading buddy.
❑ Use proofreading marks.
Evaluating the Effectiveness of
Your Message
❑ Ask for feedback.
❑ Encourage the receiver to respond to the
message.
❑ Look at comments as valuable advice!
Evaluating the Effectiveness of
Your Message (cont’d)
❑ Refer back to the three guiding questions:
❑ Is my message purposeful? Economical?
Audience oriented?
❑ Keep in mind professionalism characteristics.
❑ Does my message solve my audience’s
problem?
Summary
❑ Revise business messages for conciseness.
❑ Improve clarity in business messages.
❑ Enhance readability through effective
document design.
❑ Proofread to find mistakes in routine and
complex documents.
❑ Evaluate messages to judge overall
effectiveness.

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